Breakups generally catch most of us by surprise. Sure you could tell things were not going well but you didn’t expect him/her to dump you! Here are things to say when someone breaks up with you.
It doesn’t matter how long you were in the relationship. Breakups are hard on everyone. Probably why there are so many songs on breaking up.
The problem with not expecting a breakup is that you will most probably react badly. Your partner might choose to text you a breakup message and you might miss the opportunity to free yourself by saying the right things.
What you say is important; it can make or break your break up experience. You could use the opportunity to get better so you really want to say all the right things. This article will help you with that.
“thank you for being honest about how you feel”
This is definitely one of the best things you can say when someone breaks up with you. By saying this you let them know that you accept their decision and you respect them for being brave enough to let you know.
In a cruel way, it’s actually you assuming the bigger person role in the breakup. Your partner would definitely expect you to cause a scene but you don’t give in t your raging emotions instead you show some understanding.
This would be really big of you. Especially if in his/her breakup message your partner was very rude. Putting all the blame for the breakup on you. You could easily get ticked off and blow up. But actually not giving him/her the satisfaction is mature.
It will leave him wondering how you managed to stay sane for the next coming months after the breakup. What you need to ensure is that you do not give in to his/her follow up messages.
What could easily happen is that he/she could just be craving your reaction so bad that he/she types another follow-up text just to get you to be ticked off. Do not respond to this text. He/she has expressed that it is over in the first text and you have accepted. That’s all he/she should get from you.
“what did I do wrong in the relationship”
Taking this route completely depends on you and how you feel about how the person is breaking up with you.
You may really be curious, maybe you have no idea what you may have one wrong in the relationship. Asking what you did wrong is one of the things to say when someone breaks up with you.
It may sound cliché but knowing the real reason why someone is breaking up with you is important for your future relationships. If this person did not cope with it perhaps the next person won’t as well.
So it may be something you need to work on to make dating you a little more easier. It is difficult definitely to accept that you may be the guilty party.
But if you are and you accept then you can make plans to start making positive changes towards yourself.
“Is there a chance we can recover through this?”
Sometimes someone breaks up with you just to get your attention. Just to see if you would fight for them. It is unhealthy I know but it happens.
Your partner might be tired of you brushing them off and actually wants to know if they truly mean anything to you.
He /she breaking up with you might not be their way of saying that they don’t want to be with you. But rather way of saying do you love me enough to fight for me.
If you think this may be the case with your partner then asking them if there is a chance to fix things is one of the things to say when someone breaks up with you.
You could save yourself a lot of heartache by just lowering yourself for this one moment and allowing him/her the position of power.
This is of course if you still want to be with this person. Do not force yourself to love someone because they put you on the spot.
“I hope we can still be friends”
Now, this is not recommended as one of the things to say when someone breaks up with you. This is because it is really hard to stay friends with someone you loved romantically without developing feelings.
But in some cases it may be necessary to stay friends. Maybe you two are parents and you want to keep a good mutual relationship. Or maybe you have a business you still need to run together.
It would be simple to cut all ties with your ex but sometimes you simply can’t. Then, in this case, it is best to actually just stay friends.
This needs the two of you to set some really strong boundaries between the two of you. Also, it would help if you both move on romantically once you have healed from the relationship.
Knowing that your ‘friend’ is off-limits will help keep things that way. It is healthy to keep break ups as they are. Trying to play around with your feelings for each other is not healthy.
Some exes decide to keep each other as friends with benefits. I advice that you avoid this by all cost because it will only leave you hurt.
“I am glad that we could talk and I hope you are doing well”
This is something to say if you also wanted to end the relationship. You are glad that your partner was brave enough to express that he/she is tired before you.
By saying this you allow them to know subtly that the feeling was mutual and that you wish them well.
It is not necessary to always make your partner feel terrible for the breakup. Sometimes people generally get tired of being with someone and you allowing that person to free themselves is being kind to him/her and to yourself.
My name is Tabs Thabsile I am the Head of Marketing at Lonely Tear. Also I am a freelance writer who is finally starting to find success doing my dream job. Writing is my passion. I am lucky enough to be able to combine many of my favorite things, writing, parenting, gaming, and sci-fi. I am open to writing about anything and will do the research to make sure I am writing accurately and factually about any topic.