A text message breakup is generally seen as disrespectful especially if you and the person we’re in a relationship for a long period of time.
However, if this is someone you met recently. Been to a couple of dates with and you are only now realizing that you cannot commit to them it should be fine.
Also, it is perfectly normal to feel shy of all the awkwardness that comes with breaking up with someone.
You are wondering how you can go about a text message breakup. This is the perfect article for you. With this article, I will ensure that your breakup goes smoothly by giving you a few simple steps to follow.
Start with a salutation and a genuine compliment
This may seem like common knowledge but be careful of how you greet the person in the message. A hello with an exclamation mark is not a good idea.
Ending with an exclamation mark will make the reader think your text was aggressive when he/she rereads it later.
Rather opt for something like this, (Hi, John). A text message breakup may seem informal but it actually is semi-formal.
This is a text where you are altering the future of another person by omitting yourself from it. You need to maintain a neutral tone so avoid using emojis as well.
Also, think about something nice you can say to the person to neutralize the situation. Maybe the person sent you a gift or maybe took you out on a date recently.
Make sure to thank him/her for this and tell him/her how much you appreciated the effort. This will set a friendly tone in the message.
Give your reason for ending things
In the body of your message, you can now begin to write your reason for ending things. There is no reason to be detailed when you do this.
Avoid telling your partner all those unnecessary details of why you cannot be with them. This will only unnecessarily hurt your partner.
Rejection is difficult to take. Do not call out a person’s flaws and specify how you feel they are wrong for you.
I suggest you follow up your thank you with one of the following statements:
“However, I just didn’t feel any chemistry.”
“Ultimately, though, we’re better as friends.”
“But, I don’t think we’re a good match after all.”
The message depends entirely on how you feel about this person and how you want the relationship to continue. For example, if you don’t want to see him/her anymore do not give the option of friendship.
There are many reasons why you would want to end things with someone. Below you will find possible reasons why you would want to end things and how you should tackle the situation in each situation.
When the guy was nice but there’s zero sexual chemistry; 1 or 2 dates deep
So you went on one or two dates. And you have gone as far as the bedroom on one of these dates. Problem is you didn’t feel like there was any sexual chemistry between the two of you.
Firstly I should say that it would probably be best to try out a couple more times before you conclude that he/she is bad in bed.
You could find that your partner was just nervous on the first try. But I get how you are feeling. With that said you still need to take some time out of your busy schedule to let him/her know that there will be no further dates.
Because you two haven’t formed much of a dependent emotional bond you can be honest and tell him/her that you didn’t enjoy your sexual encounter hence you are ending the relationship.
If you don’t break up with the person you might find that they will continue pursuing you. Breaking things off allows him/her to have clarity and begin to pursue somebody else.
When the guy was awful and rude and dismissive of Scandal; 1 date deep
So the first date was awful. This is a situation deserving a text message breakup. You don’t want to be dealing with someone calling you for the next few weeks trying to arrange a hookup with you whereas you are not interested.
You can simply dismiss all the unnecessary attention by letting the person know that you do not think you want to pursue anything further.
Tell him/her that you have conflicting beliefs and you don’t think they can be overlooked in the relationship.
When you’ve hooked up with the guy several times and it’s too late to cut it off via text; 5+ dates
Sometimes you find yourself in too deep. You’ve been with this person for a couple of weeks now and bonds have been formed. Ending things with just a text message seems inappropriate for you.
Then it is fine to invite your partner to a neutral setting where you can talk things through. Make sure that you meet in a place that doesn’t allow for any hook up business.
Do not involve any alcohol in the conversation. So this means no clubs or pubs or places where you can order alcohol.
Tell him/her why you believe the relationship would not work out. Try to keep a level head while doing it. Do not be distracted by emotions or change the topic before you finish.
When you’ve texted the guy for months but never had the emotional energy to meet up in person; 0 dates
Tell him/her through a text message breakup that you have enjoyed getting to know him/her better and you have enjoyed the conversations between the two of you.
You feel a connection but it is not enough for you to dedicate yourself to this person. This is perfectly normal and you do not have to feel bad.
You might feel like you have been leading him/her on. And that might be the case. But I am respecting you for now trying to let him/her know where you stand with him/her.
Text message breakups are definitely not easy but they can be done. They allow the two parties to deal with their emotions without causing drama for each other.
My name is Tabs Thabsile I am the Head of Marketing at Lonely Tear. Also I am a freelance writer who is finally starting to find success doing my dream job. Writing is my passion. I am lucky enough to be able to combine many of my favorite things, writing, parenting, gaming, and sci-fi. I am open to writing about anything and will do the research to make sure I am writing accurately and factually about any topic.