Is it normal to still love my ex?

Once you loved someone, a part of you will always still love them even when they are now your ex.

Love is energy; you cannot destroy it even if you tried. You could transform it into other emotions like anger with time, though. But the bottom line is that love will always leave memoirs of itself where it has been.

I firmly believe that love never truly goes away. It is only human that your feelings for your ex may remain long after he is gone.

Your emotions do not have an on and off switch; you are not a machine! Just because your relationship ended doesn’t mean that the warmth and care you felt for your partner ended too. And that’s normal, that’s okay.

The fact you can still feel anything for a person who most definitely hurt you only means that you’re a warm, right hearted and healthy person.

Are you still in love with your ex?

It would be best to ascertain the emotions you are dealing with and from where they are stemming.

You would be shocked at how many people are in limbo, thinking that they are in love after a breakup when, in essence, they aren’t. Maybe they are disappointed or stuck in a sea of self-pity and doubt but pin it on love.

You may even believe that you still have lingering romantic feelings for a person. It is normal to misconstrue these emotions. 

Would you like to know whether you are indeed still in love with your ex? Below are sure signs that what you feel for your ex is love.

Related: Does he still love me

Six undeniable signs that you are still in love with your ex.

1. You compare your new catch(es) to your ex.

It doesn’t matter how good any other guy is; he can’t measure up to your ex. In your eyes, no one else will do for you.

Subconsciously, it is as if you are looking for your ex or the qualities you liked about your ex in the next person you date.

If you catch yourself looking for your ex’s carbon copies, that’s a sign that heart, body, and soul are still in love with your ex.

2. You live in anticipation of the day your ex returns to you.

They say hope is the last thing we lose. Because you are still holding onto the hope that ex will return is a manifestation of the love that is still within.

3. You become emotional when you see something that reminds you of your ex.

Even after you have moved on from your ex, souvenirs from your relationship will sting a little.

But if you still frown when the DJ plays a song the two of you liked or seeing a car of the model he used to drive still bothers you, then chances are that you still have feelings for your ex.

4. Your ex is still the first person you want to tell about that promotion.

When you are in love, you relish your lover’s praises and joy when you succeed in something. If you have to practically bite your tongue not to pick up the phone and call your ex each time you have burning news, then that’s love speaking.

That little nagging and urge you feel to share your success with your ex is love. Especially if your ex is the first person, you think that you should tell the good news.

5. You still care about your ex’s opinion.

Maybe your ex hates blue, so you still haven’t worn that beautiful blue dress that you loved or always sit through a hockey game even when you can’t stand it.

If you are still doing the things that gave you your ex’s approval, it’s because you are still trying to get your ex to approve of you. Which is another way of saying, I still love my ex?

6. Your heart skips a beat when you hear your ex’s name.

I do not deny that your ex will still affect you for most of us long after the relationship is over.  

However, if even the little details like his cologne or name always get the shivers flowing down your spine, you guessed it. You are still in love with your ex.

Why am I still in love with my ex?

Love is a feeling as beautiful as it is complicated. It is not something you can casually walk in and out of easily. With real emotions and connections, it takes time to stop feeling those emotions entirely, that is, if you ever.

Your ex is somebody to whom you committed quality time, resources, and emotions. These feelings won’t just die just because the relationship ended. It is true, your ex left, but these feelings will not leave your heart as quickly as your lover did. 

It gets harder to move on when you have been with your lover longer. That is normal and okay. We all that person(s) that no amount of time can erase from our hearts. It is human nature.

When you are still in love with your ex quotes

Being in love with an ex can be cumbersome if they have already moved on and worse if they have settled down with another person. It’s not a fun position to be. Below is a list of quotes to keep you from drowning in sadness at a time like this; you are not alone.

Five quotes for when you are still in love with your ex

1. “I still have feelings for you, and no matter how many times I tell myself that I am better off without you, a part of me just won’t let go.”-Anonymous

2. “Just because a relationship ended doesn’t mean that people stopped loving each other. They just stopped hurting each other.” -Unknown

3. “And they lived happily ever after, separately.” -Unknown

4. “Moving on is not just about not loving someone and forgetting them. It is about having the strength to say, I still love you, but you are not worth this pain.” – Dr. Anne Brown

5. “Once you love someone, you love them forever. People fall out of trust, intimacy, and respect, not love.”

How long is it reasonable to still love your ex after a breakup?

The truth is that there is no single correct length of time, after which you should have dealt with the feelings for your ex. That is love, and it doesn’t come with an expiry date.

How fast you move on depends on your relationship’s circumstances and how invested you were. Still, after you have moved on, there is no guarantee that you will stop loving your ex. As aforementioned, love never really goes away.

That there is a time you will get over someone ultimately is a fairytale. You only learn to channel the emotions to less self-sabotaging ones like from love to gratitude. That’s your best shot, and even that happens long after you have moved on.

It is reasonable to still love your ex for as long as you have been apart from each other. After all, we are all just people moving around with part of our hearts stuck with someone else.

However, just because you never stop loving your ex doesn’t mean that you will be miserable forever. It takes, on average, three months and 11 days to feel better after a breakup. It takes a month to get over each year that you were in the relationship. So you will find happiness again.

I can’t help it if I’m still in love with you.

Love has a nasty habit of overstaying its welcome; it is a global pandemic. It is little wonder that someone can’t help it and may still be in love with you long after it is over.

We don’t choose love; it chooses us. It isn’t anyone’s making that you can’t help still being in love with your ex or someone still being in love with you. We are all just actors in love’s arena; we don’t make the script love does.

What to do when you are still in love with your ex

When you are still in love with your ex, it can be a confusing and depressing time. You may feel like you got stuck between the devil and the deep. Because what do you do? Do you try to bury your feelings and pretend to move on? Or do you pursue a relationship with your ex and risk a second heartbreak?

It is normal to feel this way. Here are some tips to help you work through the complex emotions of being in love with your ex.

1. Don’t beat yourself up.

You had nothing to do with you falling in love in the first place, so please don’t blame yourself for still loving someone. 

No one falls in love on purpose, but beating yourself up will only dampen your spirit even if it was true.

2. Realize that you’re not alone

Most people find comfort in knowing that they are not the only ones going through a particular thing. If it helps, relish in the fact that the majority of us are still in love with someone we can never have.

3. Consider getting back together if it is possible.

It would help if you were careful with this, though, because you broke up for starters. Please don’t go back to a relationship unless you have fixed the issues that caused the breakup. Otherwise, you would be setting yourself up for another split, which may be worse than the first.

But when you decide to give it another shot after resolving whatever broke you up before, you may be lucky, and your relationship survives after all that havoc. I can only imagine the joy that will fill your heart when that happens.

Related: Should i get back together with my ex?

4. Accept the truth and reality.

Some relationships are beyond repair, and the harder you try to hold on, the more it hurts. I this case, however deep your love for your ex is, you have to let them go because it will never be sad. I know it is heartbreaking, but acceptance is the first step to healing,

One day you will look back, and even though you might still care for your ex then, you will be glad that you moved on, I promise you.

5. Channel the emotions into something creative and lucrative, if possible.

If there is one person who has mastered this, it is Taylor Swift. You too can do this, it may not be music like Taylor, but there are other things you can channel the emotions to like painting, dance, or gardening. Whatever works for you, do that.

6. Seek professional help if it is affecting your day to day life.

We all need a helping hand here and there; a professional in this case will help you to deal with the reality of your feelings in the most constructive and healthiest ways.

How to move on from an ex

Moving on from an ex can be challenging, especially when you still love your ex. It is a tall order. You may feel paralyzed when after a breakup when considering where to start to move on from your ex. Here is a step by step guide to help you move on from your ex.

Steps to take to move on from an ex

1. Accept the reality of the breakup.

Accepting the breakup and that your ex is in your past is the first thing to do to heal. 

Denial and refusing to acknowledge the actuality of the situation may be comforting for a while. Still, in the end, it hurts more.

The sooner you can admit to yourself that it is over, the sooner you can begin the process of healing and rejuvenation.

2. Grieve

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Cry a river if you want to, write, dance, or yell. Find a way to get it out of your system.

While there is no right or wrong way to grieve, do not rush through the process. Emotions cannot flow through quickly. Every good thing takes time so give yourself time to feel every emotion that you are experiencing fully.

3. Cut off all contact.

The No Contact Rule (NCR) will not only help you make your ex miss you but will also help you to move on. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

When you cut off all contact, mainly social media, you reduce the time you think about your ex. Since virtually, whenever you talk to someone, you focus on them, do you think of them?

In any case, our sight is out of mind, so honor the NCR to make moving on more manageable for you.

4. Get closure.

To move on from any relationship, you need the closure of some sort. It is not until when you get that resolve in your heart of hearts that it is over, which is the closure that you can begin to move on.

Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to meet with your ex after the breakup for closure. As brutal as some people may call it, burning your ex’s pictures or clothes may be all purgation you need. You could also write a letter to him and say everything you want to say but couldn’t and never post it.

Do whatever methods work for you, but please, get closure.

5. Give all mementos to a friend you trust to keep until you are ready.

Keeping your ex’s pictures, clothes, or even pieces that you firmly attached to your ex will slow the moving on process.

Each time you look at the property, your mind starts racing, and you are back to square one.

Allow a friend to hold on to such property until you are in a better frame of mind.

6. Channel the pain from the breakup.

You could channel into an old hobby or a completely new one. But whichever one you choose will work either way. 

The channeling will keep you busy and distracted from otherwise obsessing over your ex. Because it is a hobby, it will make you happier to do something you enjoy doing.

7. Now, move on.

Even though you may have made it this stage, you need to realize that moving on from ex is not a straight line chronological process. You may experience emotions of sadness and heartbreak even after grieving.

The key is to be kind to yourself and allow the process to take its course. There is no deadline or a right or wrong way to go about this. So it is okay to experience any heartbreaking emotions at any stage of recovery.

Signs your ex still has feelings for you.

When you still love your ex, you may want to know whether your ex still has feelings for you as well. 

Because they are your ex, you don’t have as much in-person interaction with them as you did before, and you may be wondering how to know that your ex still has feelings for you. Below is a list of signs your ex still has feelings for you.

Seven undeniable signs that your ex still has feelings for you.

  1. Your friend told you that he has been asking about you.
  2. Your ex has tried to reach out to you.
  3. Your ex has apologized like a million times.
  4. Your ex has tried to get back together.
  5. Your ex randomly liked your post from like 2012.
  6. Your ex becomes lovey-dovey online.
  7. Your ex always tries to remind you of the good times you spent together.


Is it normal for me to still love my ex after all this time?

Yes, it is because once you have been involved emotionally with someone, you never truly stop loving them. You cannot put moving on a time bomb.

Because every breakup is different, there is no single timeline and progression after a breakup.

Regardless of how long the relationship has been, it is customary to still be in love after all that time.

Will my ex ever come back to me?

Sometimes exes return to their partners. Whether or not your ex will return to you is whether he misses you enough and how the world has hit him to come back crawling on his knees.

Do people ever truly stop loving their ex?

The majority of people never stop loving their ex, but that doesn’t mean that they are unhappy with their lives or get back with their ex.

Should I get back with my ex if I still love them?

Whether or not you should get back with your ex is a question you can only know the answer to after you know your ex’s standpoint.

If your ex is interested in getting back together, you could pursue the relationship. However, it would be best to keep in mind that you’re dealing with a volatile situation because old habits die hard.

The reason you broke up even if you both told yourself that you resolved it may still be there. It is under the rag. Be careful.


It is normal and humane to still be in love with someone you once loved, irrespective of how messy the breakup was or how much time has elapsed.

Just because the relationship ended doesn’t mean your feelings ended with it, and that is okay. It is only human nature.

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