How to get over a breakup. You just broke up with the guy you thought would
This is where I come in. With this article, I will give you seven key steps that are proven to help you get over a breakup and find peace of mind.
Talk positively about your ex and the breakup
Do not talk badly about your ex now that you are no longer together. Gossiping about your boyfriend to people will only add fuel to the fire. People will circulate your bad remarks and they will definitely reach your ex who will see that you are not coping with the breakup.
The relationship served you as much as it could, you owe it enough to end it with dignity. Nobody needs to hear how terrible he was in bed, or anything along those lines. Instead, tell people how you two grew apart and how you wish your ex-boyfriend well on his new path.
Even if you get an opportunity to meet him, try by all means to be friendly and in good spirits. You will find peace of mind soon when you wish him well.
Remind yourself of what you have gained and lost in the relationship
Very often girls beat themselves up for investing everything into relationships that ended. This should not be you.
Remind yourself of all the beautiful things you learned from this relationship. Maybe you now have better self-esteem because of it. Embrace that and all the other things you have gained from the relationship. You deserve to have gained something from this relationship. However, be realistic while doing this.
Remember all the negative things you will not miss about being in the relationship as well. Even if he is the one who ended the relationship. Deep down you may know that it is good riddance.
Remove everything that reminds you of him or the relationship
As the saying goes, “Out of sight, out of mind”. This is indeed true for breakups as well. The memories of your relationship with this guy have been imprinted for so long in your mind. Seeing anything that reminds you of him or your relationship will take you ten steps backward. You will think that you cannot live without him, which is simply not true.
So, you need to remove any pictures of him, gifts that he sent you, quit visiting places that you two frequently visited. Avoid your mutual friends because they will likely talk about him attempting to get you two back together.
Time heals all wounds only if you take care not to disturb the healing process by triggering old memories.
How to get over a breakup-Redefine yourself
Another step to healing is to redefine yourself. When you are in a relationship your identity easily depends on your relationship that you lose your sense of individual identity. This is not good because your goals easily become dependent on you two being together.
A new breakup is a good time to brainstorm where you would like to go next. Be creative; think about your talents and how you can improve them. Think positively about where you would like to see yourself in the future. Take up a sport, join a social book club.
Make new friends, people who do not know you as his ex-girlfriend. The world is your oyster girl. This is a good time to spread your wings and soar.
Stay away from rebound relationships
You can easily fall into the trap of starting a new relationship just to make yourself feel better or to make your ex feel jealous. This will only cause you more damage as you fixate all your energy trying to convince yourself and the world that you are coping while you are not.
Give yourself time to heal before you enter a new relationship. That way you will know that you will not be bringing any baggage from the previous relationship.
If you happen to truly fall in love with someone while you are still healing communicate with that person that you need a bit more time to heal. If they truly love you they will surely wait for a time when you will ready to commit.
How to get over a breakup-Be realistic
You cannot avoid that you are hurt. Even if you try to convince yourself, deep down you will know that you are hurting.
Take time, to be honest about your emotions. This does not mean that you need to burst out crying in front of people. You just need to take time to be alone and accept all the terrible emotions you are feeling.
Cry if you need to. Take up a rage decreasing sport. But accept that you have been hurt. It happens to the best of us. However, try not to wallow in self-pity. With every negative thought try to sooth it with a positive. Look for the silver linings.
Try not to isolate yourself from supportive friends. You need people around you to keep your hopes up.
Continue going to the social activities that you went to while still in the relationship. Stay positive but be real with supportive friends.
Add new friends to your social circle, but still, take some time to be alone and be honest with your emotions
My name is Tabs Thabsile I am the Head of Marketing at Lonely Tear. Also I am a freelance writer who is finally starting to find success doing my dream job. Writing is my passion. I am lucky enough to be able to combine many of my favorite things, writing, parenting, gaming, and sci-fi. I am open to writing about anything and will do the research to make sure I am writing accurately and factually about any topic.