Cheating Husband. We all dream of a happily ever after with the prince of our dreams and nothing makes that dream a reality like walking down the aisle with him. That magical moment stays with us for the rest of our lives and we wish we could recreate it often. For some, the magic lasts their lifetime, but sometimes, you find that reality is much more different and difficult.
The rudest awakening to any woman is finding out that your husband cheated or has been cheating on you. It is the most demoralizing thing that can happen to you in the marriage and in the heat of anger the first thing you think of doing is to leave him and walk away from your marriage. You feel he has betrayed your trust and also, embarrassed you before the rest of the world. Sometimes you blame yourself, you feel lacking, and your self-esteem takes a nosedive.
However, when reality sets in, you find that for one reason or another you cannot leave your husband although he cheated on you. Even though you are still feeling angry, frustrated, and betrayed, you decide to continue with the marriage. The reasons for this are many and only you can make such a decision about your future, but once you have made the decision, you need to make the best of it.
If you have decided to stay with your husband and try to make your marriage work, remember the most important thing is for you to be happy. There are many things you will have to deal with in the aftermath, but as a woman, you have to look for ways to help yourself cope. Below are listed ten ways that can help you cope with a cheating husband
#1 Forgive your cheating husband
Sometimes, when you are hurt and angry, forgiving is the furthest thing from your mind. However, you have to remember you are doing it mainly for yourself and not for him. You have to take note of the fact that your husband cheated not because you are lacking in any way or because of anything that you might have neglected to do. He cheated because he is an adult who was faced with two decisions and chose the more shameful one, and it had nothing to do with you except breaking his commitment to you.
Forgiving a cheating husband is not a one-day event, it is a gradual process. You will need to build the trust again, brick by brick, therefore make sure he makes a promise of future faithfulness and make it clear that you will hold him accountable to it.
Forgiveness also involves getting rid of all the toxic emotions and embracing positivity. It means you have to build yourself up first and clearly realize your worth. You have to get rid of all the self-blame you might have incurred and any self-doubt that lingers. When that happens, you will have internal peace and this will help you to cope with your cheating husband and help you rebuild your marriage.
#2 Give your husband a second chance
They say everyone deserves a second chance. Your husband made a mistake but is now repentant. Give him a chance to prove that he has changed and will not cheat on you again. You might be shocked when in his effort to prove his renewed commitment he makes the marriage even better than it was before.
#3 Talk it out with your cheating husband
Forgiving your husband will not be complete until both of you have talked it out in-depth and gotten to the root of the problem. Open all channels of communication so that even in the future, such a situation may not arise. Whatever your methods were of finding out about the infidelity, protect your sources at all times because if he is to cheat again, they might be too scared to bother informing you. Let him also be aware that if he messes up again, it will be easy for you to find out and act on that. The most important part of coping with a cheating husband is to remind him of his promises and obligations and make him undertake not to repeat his mistakes.
#4 Seek support from family or well-wishers
Depending on your family structure and culture in the home, there will always be someone to whom your husband feels accountable and to whom you can turn to help you cope with a cheating husband. This can even be a competent friend or a professional counselor if you are not comfortable making his infidelity public in your circles. The main point is that you must seek the support of someone to help you cope with your cheating husband. It is not good to bottle up things and once you have listened to the perspective of another impartial person, you will find a way to move on from your husband’s cheating.
#5 Take some time out
Believe it or not, sometimes cheating happens because of a breakdown in communication between husband and wife. When cheating sets in, it will be much harder to communicate with your husband because of anger and frustration on your side and guilt and self-blame on his side. The best thing to do in such circumstances is to take time off and try to make things out. The two of you can take an overdue holiday or take a weekend off to see if your marriage can be saved. The time out for the two of you will also help you relieve some old memories that can help reignite your love for each other and remind yourself why you got married in the first place.
#6 Invest in self-care
After finding out that your husband has cheated on you, do not bury yourself in work and forget to look after yourself both physically and spiritually. One of the best ways to cope with a cheating husband is to invest in a good exercise regime, regular trips to the beauty center, a good visit to the salon or home grooming, whatever works for you, make time for it. Physical activity will not only cleanse your mind and install good vibrations in your body; it will also help you boost your social life especially if you are attending a gym or sports center. Exercise is also good in helping you to fight feelings of low self-esteem and unworthiness.
#7 Trust time to heal your heart
They say time is the healer of everything, so give it time. Maybe now you are feeling horrible because of your cheating husband but if he apologizes and makes effort to change, you might appreciate making the decision to hang in there. A marriage is built u of a collection of beautiful memories and moments. These treasures will not only be your backbone when you are trying to cope with your husband’s infidelity, but they will also make your decision to forgive your cheating husband worthwhile in the long run.
#8 Cry it out
It is okay to cry. When you feel overwhelmed by emotions, when you feel like giving up on your cheating husband, cry it out. You don’t have to be strong all the time, and you don’t have to hold it in. Let the tears calm your emotions and engage in activities that calm you so that you can avoid getting depressed.
#9 Do not rush the intimacy
For many women, sex is more emotional than physical. They attach emotions to the act and if upset with the other party, their enjoyment is lessened leading to feelings of betrayal. As such, take your time before you rush into sex until you are sure you have totally forgiven him and gotten rid of any resentment you might have towards him. To avoid feelings of betraying yourself, ease into your sex routine slowly, starting with a few physical touches, gradually building up to full make-out sessions. This will help you greatly to cope with your cheating husband’s sexual appetite without denying him intimacy and tempting him to cheat again.
#10 Forgive and forget
Forgetting is an important part of forgiving. If you claim to forgive but you keep reminding him of his past transgressions, you will destroy the harmony in the home. Strive to set new marriage goals with your husband and create new memories with him so that the cheating incident becomes a vague memory that will gradually fade away.
Dealing with a cheating spouse has always been a sensitive issue and it takes more courage to stay than to walk away. However, the fact that someone decides to stay in marriage does not mean that all is well. It only means that the journey to reclaim your marriage has only just started. If you are determined to hash it out to the end, you will not regret years later, looking at the beautiful moments you will have created as a result.
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